Meet the influencers who are redefining loneliness and discover the factors contributing to the rise of solo living among young people
The digital age has brought about a significant shift in how young people perceive and experience friendship. A growing number of influencers are openly discussing their struggles with loneliness, sparking a global conversation about the changing nature of social connections.
Tess Lavanda, a 22-year-old content creator, has gained substantial attention for her candid discussions about living without close friends. Her YouTube video titled “I don’t have any friends” has amassed over half a million views, while her Instagram reels on similar topics have garnered thousands of interactions.
Breaking the stigma around loneliness
Lavanda’s openness about her experiences has resonated with many young people who feel similarly isolated. She believes that the cultural stigma around loneliness has prevented people from discussing their struggles openly. “I think people feel relieved it’s finally being spoken about,” she says.
“No one felt brave enough to speak about it because there is this culture where people think being alone is embarrassing and wrong.”
Recent research from the Institute for Public Policy Research supports Lavanda’s observations. The number of young people in England with no close friends has risen fivefold since 2014, with one in 20 now reporting complete friendlessness. Additionally, a growing number of young people express dissatisfaction with the friendships they do have.
The factors contributing to the loneliness epidemic
Several interconnected factors are contributing to the rise of loneliness among young people. Social media, while connecting people globally, can also create a sense of isolation. Lavanda notes that people are often distracted by their phones, making it harder to initiate conversations and form connections.
The COVID-19 pandemic has also played a significant role in exacerbating feelings of isolation. Many young people experienced a profound sense of disconnection during lockdowns, with some entering “a dark place” due to the lack of genuine friendships. The pandemic’s aftermath has left lasting effects on social skills and mental health.
Financial instability is another critical factor. The cost-of-living crisis has made it difficult for young people to afford social activities or even basic transportation to meet friends. This economic strain has further isolated those already struggling with loneliness.
The role of social media in reshaping friendships
Social media platforms like TikTok have become both a cause and a solution for loneliness. While they can foster a sense of community, they also contribute to “doomscrolling”—a solitary activity that has become a daily pastime for many young people. The IPPR report highlights that the digital childhood of today’s youth has eroded the foundations of a good adolescence.
Jodie-Leigh Foster, a training and development officer at UK Youth, emphasizes the importance of quality friendships. She notes that many young people struggle with friendships that play out on social media and group chats, which can quickly turn into bullying and harassment. This dynamic leads to isolation and withdrawal, further exacerbating feelings of loneliness.
The future of friendship in the digital age
As society grapples with the changing nature of friendship, experts like Pamela Qualter, the UK’s leading scientific expert on child and adolescent loneliness, offer insights into the underlying issues. Qualter suggests that the decline in “weak ties”—small interactions with acquaintances—has stripped away the building blocks of solid friendships. She argues that more people working from home and the lack of free or cheap places for socializing have contributed to this trend.
However, Qualter also notes that there is not much evidence to suggest young people are actually getting lonelier. Instead, she posits that expectations of friendships may be changing. “Maybe those people with fewer close friends are happy with that,” she says, highlighting the complexity of the issue.
The loneliness influencer phenomenon is more than just a trend; it’s a reflection of the broader societal shifts affecting young people today. As more individuals like Tess Lavanda speak out, the conversation around loneliness and friendship continues to evolve, offering hope for those who feel alone.
