“I want my kids to actively want the other person to be pleased, too, rather than just stopping because they have to,” added her.
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Sophie Ellis Bextor admitted she was raped by the musician. It happened when she was 17 years at a gig.
Sophie Ellis Bextor still ‘bear the scars’ from rape”
The incident occurred when she was asked to an after-party.
At there, she met a guitarist at the band, also an older man from her. She calls him “Jim” at the gig. She told that the 29 year-old-man took her to his flat after told him that she was studying history.
Jim lured her to his flat to “see his history books”.
How the rape happened
Back at the flat, Jim took benefit of her after she told him to stop. “We started kissing. Before I recognised it we were on his bed and he removed my knickers. I heard myself telling no to him but it didn’t make any exception.”
Jim didn’t listen to and he had sex with her. She felt so ashamed and stupid.
Rape made Sophie Ellis Bextor troubled
Ms Ellis Bextor said that she was troubled about her experience. It is because the way rape was talked about was “something correlated with aggression” rather than consent.
As a mother of five sons, Ms Ellis Bextor said she has been concerned to speak to them about consent. She wants to build thoughtful, kind people who can take other people’s responses into account.
“I want my kids to actively want the other person to be pleased, too, rather than just stopping because they have to,” added her.
